Oh no!!!... My master was right… I just denied knowing Jesus...“cock-a doodle-doo!”... Wait. Hold up… Where did that rooster come from?... That’s the rooster Jesus said would crow… He wasn’t lying... What kind of disciple am I?... Just a few hours ago I told Jesus that I’d go to death with him… Then all of a sudden I denied knowing Him… He’s done so much for me and I just threw it away with such ease!!!... Ugh!!!... What kind of person am I?... What have I done?... There must be a way to reverse this. To rewind it or something… I want a restart… I love Jesus, don’t get me wrong, but He has to understand where I’m coming from… If I didn’t deny Him, I would’ve been dead… Who would spread the message of the kingdom and get more followers?...It wouldn’t be me… I’d be dead… I have a great influence among the other disciples. Who would lead them?... With me dead it would be horrible… Yea, that explains it, I guess, but I’m still disgusted with myself… How could I have done that?... I could’ve had more courage, more guts, to stand up for Him. To be his true friend in crime when no one was here to help Him....I would’ve been the only one who stuck by Jesus’ side… The true meaning of a disciple, sticking with the master, no matter what... I blew it!!... I’m so weak…This is crazy… Why?... Why was I put in this situation and not another?... I want out!!!... This cannot be true… Most importantly, what about Jesus?... How did he know that I’d deny him?... Has Jesus lost respect for me?... I’ve probably brought great shame to Him... Will He ever feel the same about me again?... Will He punish me?... How will I redeem myself?...
No comments:
Post a Comment